I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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