In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
