Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
