I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
