Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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