did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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