This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize