Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
