we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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