yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
