Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
