trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
