Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
