As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
