well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
