I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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