i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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