so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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