she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
