i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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