Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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