i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
