No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
