that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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