please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
