I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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