My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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