You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
