I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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