you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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