He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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