i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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