OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize