if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
