Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
