Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
