i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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