I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How external is "for external use only"?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
