There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
