Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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