like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
