I want to stick my p in your. b.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
