who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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