Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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