Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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