Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
