you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize