Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
