i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
