So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize