We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize