Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
