Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
