its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
