When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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