She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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