I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
