I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
