Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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