3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
