Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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