just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
