haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
