It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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