he puts the penis in happiness.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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