Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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